Life in the LongWhiteCloud

Emotions: Tired, detached (unsure what next step should be), satisfied (training Jess, Tony, Jaz) Lack of sleep catching up to me today, tough day. Feeling like I could do better, could have more potential elsewhere, same old story. I have a lot of energy, basically in the prime of my life and can give 100% to whatever I put my mind to. Experienced a big increase in confidence over past 4 months with job as a Trainer, but still feel I have lots to work on and perfect. At present finding it difficult to give my current job 100%, due to nagging fears and self-doubts. Split into following Self-doubt: I cant be a great trainer, over-critical of my mistakes, put big pressure on having perfect time-management and productivity, this isn't always practical or realistic Fears: I'm personally, along with the other trainers am getting ripped off by a much bigger company only concerned with the bottom line. Nagging thought that I'm wasting my energy, and should be enjoying life...

Emotions: Confident (skills as a trainer), engaged (with new challenges, hapkido), comfortable (working with team in studio), satisfied (with daily challenges as a trainer, run club, motivated clients) Wednesday was a great day for me, came back to train some afternoon clients (Jaz) who had a great sessions with deadlifts. Tried Hapkido which have been meaning to do for ages, was good fun and learned heaps, great atmosphere to train in. Looking forward to next Wednesday (albeit late). Considering AGM tomorrow, or heading out to Piha Friday night. Need to bike into work tomorrow to make it work. AGM should be good fun, have a few drinks after with the club members which don't get to do too often, make most of it. Head out to piha early Saturday, looks like ideal plan. Work-ons: Knowing and keeping track of what kind of program being followed, beginner, superset, dropset,  how hard I need to push, and what kind of verbal cues I will provide throughout. Example: Jasmine need ...

Emotions : Satisfied (training for ultimate, weights/conditioning) Connected (with workmates at both jobs and ultimate friends) Significance, acceptance (of being an integral part of a good team culture). Feel like I could do more to improve knowledge and practical skills for my career pathway this week/today Winter on its way, and with it a new season of game of thrones. Enjoying a more relaxed lifestyle lately, surfing in Piha yesterday with some good friends, great conversation about work in retail, training for ultimate, surfing and everything in between. Great laughs on the Saturday too with workmates Brad and Hels, always a fun day to work and start weekend. Kaizen The principle of doing lots of small tasks, to build towards achieving a much larger goal or ambition, consistently every day/week. Many changes accumulated over time. End result of thinking big changes come about from taking on big challenges, and taking big steps at a time result in burning out.  Moving...

Friday started at 5am for a team session in the studio. Good workout, bad for my program. Finding running group on thursday/friday easier, more in control, but still need to work on showing stronger leadership and being more confident. Friday evening feeling good, been a long day and going to have a quiet one, nothing much on the social calendar anyway (Kira??) Maybe get out tomorrow night. Sitting on back porch in dusk is so peaceful after a long and fulfilling day, breathing in fresh air, enjoying the sounds of nature: crickets, neighbours talking, wind in trees, without cars or busyness of town hubs where I work. "It is what it is" Wise words from brad, more I think about it, the more important they are. Strangely different from what society teaches us, we are not our thoughts, possessions, or even past experiences. Instead we are what we choose to be in the present moment. Choice being the key word. Sure, possessions can alter our egos, social media can influence ou...

Emotions: (last few days) Satisfied, connected, included, empowered (today) confused about direction, unhappy, unfocused, irritated at work, like I could do better, a need to contribute Today started badly, with a terrible sleep, and strange thoughts at 4am about dying. Not sure what these mean, but have something to do with how I felt today at work. Strongest emotion this week so far is to make a difference in protecting this planet, helping to undo and prevent damage from humans in years to come. Read an article saying London could be made redundant by sea rise in last quarter of the century. Wow. Big decision coming up here, should I study teaching/sports science or Environmental science, in next year or two? There is also environmental engineering where I could make a real difference in NZ and overseas, another 4 years though? Myself or wider contribution? Choice is either making a difference in sport/personal training, and learning to coach others, to help achieve goals En...

Emotions : Happy, satisfied, well connected, fatigued, excited Very good mood today, had a great morning in the studio, with a tough block with group class and 3 clients, but rose to the challenge confidently and calmly, running a great group class and 3 great PT sessions. Good chat with the vision crew today too, particularly Tom and Meghan for coffee. Overnight oats are amazing. Period. Work at Icebreaker was a fun time as usual with Brad and Georgia. Got thinking in some time to myself about how fired up I am to keep training this offseason, and the next clash with Taniwha coming up in Auckland, should provide all the motivation I need. Career More than ever I realized I need to keep planning and making moves toward my goal of coaching athletes (AD), and I need to start looking into more high schools for conditioning coach roles. Meet with Kelly next week to find out any possible opportunity's. Patrick Davenport at Remuera is another priority. Contact Patrick on Monday...

Working at vision PT has always been a trade off. Great personal development through personal training technical skills, anatomy knowledge, individual coaching skills, leadership (run club/group class), and fun practical work experience day to day. Trade off : Great personal skills development/Money and job flexibility (early mornings late nights) Talk from family and colleagues lately has put my focus toward pay standards, and less toward my wider goals in the sport industry.  I already know this, no reason to lose a step and not keep working hard. Values: Commitment When I attempt a new skill, hobby or career, give it a good shot. Make decision then commit to decision.  For personal training, 6 month minimum. Review progress 16th June, no earlier Commitment towards my goal at Athlete Development Development: Opening different tabs with Ipad, weekly report, VVT, Tracker Loui Simmonds, GPP, recovery

Emotions (today): Satisfied, happy being myself around friends, and making great new ones. Little disappointed about not going out for dumplings tbh, could have managed with better time management, not being nervous.  (past 2 days): Conflicted, Frustrated (at job progress). Unconnected (with friends and ultimate). Overtired, fatigued, mentally drained after work all day, low energy for social life. I have known for a fain while now that failure is completely okay, and I need to embrace it in order to learn more about myself and achieve goals. But that didn't stop me being scared of failure still, even though doing something, and making an active decision in the risk it may not go my way, and there is a decent chance of failure, I will feel much better having attempted the risk than not trying.  Example: going to social events, captaining a team, running a goal session, running group class Life is better lived not thinking and acting based on feelings and impulse...

Today I discovered the real importance of decisions and action if I want to live the life I truly want, "Once you make a decision, follow it up with a conscious action!"  Tony Robbins Ask that girl out! Write down what I will say, ask Adam for tips etc. Go to a salsa class, martial art. The pain /pleasure principle also helped me have a greater understanding of evolution, through a subconcious process of assigning either painful or pleasurable signals with certain experiences, feelings,  for example, linking learning about human emotions and needs with pleasure, as a greater understanding can lead to mastery of ones own emotional state, and provide clarity to life. From my understanding this process can be conscious, with a focused assignment of pleasure to positive action, for example pushing plate away, attending conditioning Tuesday nights, or assignment of pain to NOT acting, for example the pain involved in not asking that girl out will be much greater than doing it. ...