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Crossroads, end of May

What am I meant to do?

This question has irked me for 22 years, I feel I've never truly found the answer. Last week I realised resourcefulness is one of my key attributes, in finding new ways to prevent waste, saving money on food, inventing new workout types etc. I am not a strongly logical or rational thinker, my decisions are more controlled by impulsive or emotional reason. I am highly empathetic to other people and living creatures, nature. I enjoy helping others but would rather make a difference to nature and the wider world. I am highly concientious, feeling guilty if I give less than my best, this can lead me to push myself when I need recovery at times.

The past week has been a bit of a blur, with plenty of work, ultimate and spending time with my favourite people, through brass monkey, AUUC, icebreaker, and the showcase games. Lost my sense of rythym and in need of a better, more consistent sleep routine, currently feel lethargic in morning and late arvo.
I have a desire to go home and visit family, but it is easier to stay in auckland this week and get things done around house, clean car, etc. I do miss my dog though.

What I did
Stay up late, past 12. Less organisation in the morning before my day, and no exercise/stretching routine to help wake up and kickstart me. The lack of planning my days is what hurt me most, wasting too much time on social media with no direction

My plan for this week
Have a consistent morning routine, following this order from when I wake up

7am: Stretch, rehab exercises 15-20 min (substitute for gym in mt albert mon-wed)
7:20am: plan out on paper activities for day
7:30am: Breakfast, eggs and oats
8am: prepare for work, etc.

Career
Still have no clear direction where to next, I have a nagging urge to go visit AD but dont have the same drive to work with young athletes as I had before. May be because I'm still recovering from a routine and job change, need to give it a bit more time? Looking at my past experiences, I have tried to jump into things quickly maybe before I am ready. Straight after graduating I didn't have a proper break but straight into work, I guess I am fearful I will lose all the knowledge and experience I have gained through PT and university.

Where to now?
Keep myself busy. Plan my day. Whenever I stop moving it seems I find myself in a rut, so keep being productive even if it's just reading the anatomy book, playing guitar, yoga, breathing. Keep being Positive. At the end of the day, I'm still working in a job I enjoy and earning enough to breakeven, pay rent and food, and doing the things I enjoy with surfing and ultimate, keeping close with the friends I want to be around. Having that certainty in life simplifies things, in my current stage simplicity and certainty is what I need.

Ultimate:
Realised lately, if I am to keep getting better in the auckland ultimate scene, I need to practice good habits in all levels of play and practice, and refrain from reinforcing bad ones. Habits I need to get out of include:
  • rushing options with the disc in hand (IO, hucks too far in front, dumps)
  • Poor defence positioning, hips
  • Seeing space and setting up cuts, attacking effectively by losing defender
These three alone I can strive to improve in indoor, university training, or even just using visualisation during throwing sessions. 

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