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Crossroads

The last few months have exposed me to a very different culture, changing my habit and thought much. Right now I have a crossroad: embrace this philosophy and work hard every day to fit it in my life, or coast and continue as I was, with the loft.

Since life is short the only real option is 1. As I go I will learn more of my dharma, and things will become more clear. Muddy water over last year has cast clouds over work and career choice, doubt crept in mind. Acting to please others and hide from truth in heart.

I yearn to cast away old attachments and ways of fitting in without looking at true nature and purpose. I struggle with comparing myself to role models, being critical of my current effort and level. But I must see that these role models have their own dharma and strength, I can take inspiration.

Just as from a good musician, inspiration can happen, and push my skill higher.
Bhakti is a lifestyle to follow, with ideals, outside focus is allowed. Guilty feeling is pointless and counter productive, what I "should be doing" doesn't exist. I still live in this dog-eat-dog world and while I can improve myself I can act for my own interest still, with sport/fitness/music. The real question is, what is the pursuit for? If it follows values of compassion, integrity (to bhakti, incomplete) honesty, or is purely for selfishness?
This is a tough line to draw but helps to see what my motives are for what I do outside of bhakti.
In ways of leading in bhakti they are the best ideals. Just add krishna.

One day I may be immersed in Bhakti fully but that is not today.





Inside Out
With anything, as in medicine you must "Cure yourself before can can do to others". Self development is number one priority. Reading the Gita, 10 pages a day is crucial, with 10 rounds.

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