Life in the LongWhiteCloud

Fear does not get any smaller as I get older I feel, however confidence in certain areas definitely grows, and this shows. Need to focus on what I know I can do, and what I can push my limits on and be uncomfortable, take risks. Do it for yourself, do it every day. Words to live life by next few weeks. Another way to think about life... living to the fullest of my capability is by far the most satisfying thing, so ask yourself, are you living to your full potential? If not what can I do better. Relationships Can learn a lot from different people and personalities... Through retail get a lot of exposure to this. One particular of interest is Georgia, sharp, direct, know what you want kind of nature. Having a personality tilting toward more unobtrusive and sometimes unwilling to step on others toes... If you want something take it! Likewise if my gut feeling is something is not for me (research?) ditch it. Be obnoxious if I have to, disregard others perception, rather than miss an o...

Emotions: Relaxed, euphoric, satisfied. People Most are OK, many are good, some are excellent. This describes the people I've been around lately well. Finding those excellent ones is tough, and want to keep them around me when I find them. Helen is good, Tim is great, Sam is pretty great too. If you become who you surround yourself with, then gather much more talented, positive, knowledgeable and caring individuals to help make me the best version of myself.  Training Recap (last 4 week block) 4 weeks and 6 days out from NZUUC, and 2 weeks and 5 days out from Winter league start. Preseason build to Mixed Nat's in Auckland. Pumped! Approx 2-3 linear speed (hills) and lateral technique (1-2 stick) sessions and 3 unilateral strength sessions over last 4 weeks, including this one at weeks end. As this training block draws to a close it is time to plan the next one. Recovery has been moderate, average 2 days off p/w, with week 2 being light, bout 3-4 days off.  ...

Emtions: Unmotivated, annoyed (slightly at different things), tad isolated. Feel like a bit of momentum has left me from last week. Bad sleep coupled with maybe not doing enough after work contributed. Have my first day with AD tomorrow so wanna make sure I'm good to go for that. Success is less? Pick one thing to focus on improving in a day, will get much more out than fragmented focus, trying to jump from tasks in an effort to keep improving in lots of areas (study, guitar, fitness etc) Todays plan: go to markets, get outside before work, get mind into more focus and clarity. Improve on guitar today, especially picking Yeahhh.

Emotions: Tired, slightly anxious (should I be?) confident, What a big first week back. From great morning sessions with Tim to my first AD experience to almost not getting into postgrad, and lots of coffee in between there is a lot to cover here. Right now though I will focus on one this only.  Trust my gut Best thing I can do going into tomorrow is just wearing the confidence I have earned on my sleeve, and going with whats natural, also with what my gut tells me. It's not a big deal, It will be happening in many different ways elsewhere in the world.  Main thing, be honest, and straightforward. I know myself to beat around the bush when I'm putting things off/fearful of an unknown outcome and naturally want to play it safe. Playtime is over though, this is the real world, I need to make things happen, if I want them to happen, which I truly do.  "If you want something you've never had... do something you've never done" Working in retail...

Perceptions Time is a funny thing. It warps and changes your view at a given point and then being exposed to other things change it to something completely different. Or some shit. In other news I am stoked to have found and realized a new direction for my life, and a schedule which should keep me busy for July through till December, with an income from part time work. A risk worth taking? Going back to uni to do postgrad was always going to be a risk. What I know is that I have gotten a lot of life experience from the BSR programme over the last few years and I am grateful for that. From surfing and marae stays to formal conferences to showcase a year-long project before peers and industry professionals, it has sure been a great ride with its highs and lows. If one thing is for certain it should put to end any doubts about taking this particular direction for my career. Sure, I could have done engineering, but that would of sucked. I still can. But not in this chapter of my life...