The last few months have exposed me to a very different culture, changing my habit and thought much. Right now I have a crossroad: embrace this philosophy and work hard every day to fit it in my life, or coast and continue as I was, with the loft. Since life is short the only real option is 1. As I go I will learn more of my dharma, and things will become more clear. Muddy water over last year has cast clouds over work and career choice, doubt crept in mind. Acting to please others and hide from truth in heart. I yearn to cast away old attachments and ways of fitting in without looking at true nature and purpose. I struggle with comparing myself to role models, being critical of my current effort and level. But I must see that these role models have their own dharma and strength, I can take inspiration. Just as from a good musician, inspiration can happen, and push my skill higher. Bhakti is a lifestyle to follow, with ideals, outside focus is allowed. Guilty feeling is pointles...